Getting in touch with the Reality of Motherhood

My journey into motherhood has so far been blissful, tough, exciting, daunting, awe-inspiring yet always full of love and gratitude to God for blessing me in such a manner. There are so many emotions and expectations at first then comes the reality of the work involved. This is especially so for  women and mothers who strive to do their very best to ensure a loving and safe environment, best nutrition, highest standards of cleanliness in the home, dealing with domestic help and/or nannies all while juggling a very demanding career and relatively young marriage?….phew!

It’s no mean feat but somehow this is my life and I’m going to be sharing via this forum my experiences, challenges and triumphs so hopefully we can all navigate and draw strength from one another.

My 1st topic describes how I feel into post natal depression. I gave birth to my 1st child Ayomide Zoia in September 2011 in Chicago Illinois USA. She weighed in at  a strong and healthy 7lbs 4oz to the glory of God.

I was so in awe of the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth which all went without any complications whatsoever that it felt like I could face the world now and accomplish anything.

I quickly realized that I still had a lot to learn in the coming months,  and  that I will keep learning  about being a new mom and parent till my final breath.

Up until the birth all I really knew about  baby care was from a combination of the prenatal classes I was taking at the hospital, reading books like “What to expect when you’re expecting”and  “Belly Laughs”, online mom’s forums, questions I asked my doctor or my Mom, etc.

So I believed I had it down pat but boy,  was I in for a shocker! You see I had this vision of being this earth mother with breasts flowing with milk and honey and for a short while say 2-3 months it was flowing well, she latched on great with no problems then she wasn’t gaining weight but she was on my breast for long periods alternating as normal but when I went to the paediatrician it was a different story so I started pumping to be able to monitor exactly how much milk she was getting and then I realized I didn’t produce enough milk  Then I  had to face some baby feeding dilemna’s and make some tough choices. I was so determined to up my milk supply by taking some galactagogues (substances that promote lactation) in tea, drank beer, drank Ogi my Mom brought from Nigeria.  This, on top of all the sleepless nights and days, the huge adjustments of being a new parent, my body healing from the birth, and  the breastfeeding challenges,  made me feel like I had failed my daughter and, so,  I had failed myself.

I then fell into a depression which my Obstetrician /gynaecologist diagnosed as Post-natal depression.

Words truly can’t describe how I felt. I couldn’t describe it to my husband or my mother but I didn’t feel right.

But now that I feel more comfortable in my skin as a good mother trying and working to give the best to her children emotionally, physically and nutritionally, I feel that sharing my experiences through this medium could help a new mother somewhere, feel better about herself and capabilities of being a good mother, despite facing challenges.

Today, Ayomide is an intelligent active child and now 3 years old. And I have no doubt that she will continue to thrive well into adulthood thanks to informed nutritional choices that I made for her.

 I will continue to share the challenges I faced and how I overcame them.

 Please let me know if this story resonates with you, or if you have any questions.

For information to support your motherhood journey visit http://www.mumsworldafrica.com

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4 thoughts on “Getting in touch with the Reality of Motherhood

  1. Such a beautiful journey that unfolds your inner strength and energy. I consider nursing a baby as one of the most difficult task ever known. All babies express any discomfort with crying that we the young moms can hardly interpret. We monitor their attitudes, feelings and sometimes we get scared of our babies health. Finally we end up praying for God’s protection on them,because we understand they are tender and we can do anything much more than God.

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  2. countess says:

    Nice Dakore. For some mothers it is a big challenge because most times all we as mums want is to do it the way it has always been done not putting into consideration that we are all different. I was faced with same breastfeeding challenge and i got to a point where i just decided to do things differently because the breastfeeding just wasn’t working for my child.
    I got lots of bottles and both steam and manual sterilizers and started formula and pumping and in no time he was this fat baby everyone wants to carry. Mums should basically do what works for them.And don’t let not one tell you breastfed babies are more intelligent or are healthier. Once you have good hygiene your fine mums.
    Dakore please also talk about pre -term babies and how to encourage mothers because my daughter was pre- term and i was so devastated but with God i pulled through and she is one super intelligent girl @ 19MONTHS now . stay blessed

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